Just a quick observation:

Some of the best shows have had unseen narrators. I'm not even talking like when that dude from the Home Alone movies played the older Fred Savage.

I'm talking about shows in which some guy you never see tells you what's going on.

I've been watching reruns of The Fugitive, and it's probably one of the best examples of a genre of drama that's disappeared. The unseen narrator provides The Fugitive's backstory, acts as the mind and soul of the protagonist in this program.

I also miss those old Superfriends episodes where the narrator would say EVERY DAMNED THING that happened in the show.

"The Superfriends meet at the Hall of Justice."

"Wonder Woman buckles the safety restraints in her invisible jet."



And there are probably tons of actors out there who could use a good narrating job. Peter Coyote did a great job with the Clarinex commercials - he'd be great!

Happy Easter everyone!!!

There's no odd news that really strikes me as of late, but I did find this instructional video on how to make these cupcakes with little puppy faces on them. They're really cute, but I'd probably never make 'em because my way of frosting cupcakes is just slathering frosting-from-a-can on 'em.

And of course, either Duncan Hines or Betty Crocker make my cupcakes.

But I'm sure some of you are a bit more adventurous.

I shit you not. Converse is coming out with a limited-edition Kurt Cobain series of shoes that will be sold exclusively at Foot Locker.



This was approved by Kurt's heiress, Courtney Love, I guess so she can feed whatever habit she's got now.

This makes me sick. When I was in high school, wearing converse wasn't about being cool or trendy. Hell, a pair of converse cost about 10 bucks. We wore them because they were CHEAP! They were cheap and we were badass.

They even have a shoe that already looks like shit when you buy it.



And a shoe that cute little Avril-Lavigne-listenin' "punk" girls are going to wear.



And the sad thing is, rich kids who don't know any better are going to buy this shit because they think it will somehow preserve Kurt's memory. When the sad truth is this is in defiance of everything Kurt stood for.



Disgusting.

Aside from the sick-humor headline, this is really sad. Ola Brunkert, who had been playing drums for ABBA since the beginning and whose beats can be heard on hits like "Waterloo," "Dancing Queen" and "Take a Chance On Me," died in a horrible in-home freak accident over the weekend.

I am sure this man has loved ones who will miss him, and many people who may not have known his name but at one time enjoyed dancing along to him.

From E! News:


Freak Accident Kills ABBA Drummer

By Josh Grossberg

Mon, 17 Mar 2008 11:11:34 AM PDT

Ola Brunkert, a former drummer for ABBA and one of only two musicians to play on all the Swedish pop superstars' albums, died in a freak accident at his home on the Spanish island of Mallorca.

According to authorities, Brunkert fell into a glass door in his dining room and slashed his throat. He apparently attempted to stanch the blood flow with a towel and apparently went outside to call neighbors for help. But he lost consciousness and collapsed.

According to published reports, a neighbor discovered Brunkert 's body, in a pool of blood, in the garden outside the musician's home Sunday evening.

The 62-year-old had sustained major cuts to his neck. An autopsy later confirmed investigators' findings that he died accidentally.

A renowned session drummer, Brunkert's tenure with ABBA began with the famed foursome's 1973 debut album, Ring Ring, and lasted through their swan song, 1981's The Visitors.

He played on all of ABBA's memorable hits—"Waterloo," "Fernando," "Dancing Queen" and "Take a Chance on Me"—and also provided the beats when the band toured.

"I remember him as a good friend when we worked together in the mid-1970s," ABBA cofounder Björn Ulvaeus told the Swedish newspaper Expressen. "He was a very creative musician who contributed a lot when we toured together and worked in the studio."

Fellow ABBA mastermind Benny Andersson said the loss of Brunkert was "tragic," calling the drummer "one of the best."
Per the band's Website, Brunkert was a jazz drummer who got his start with a blues outfit called Slim's Blues Gang and the pop act Science Poption in the mid-1960s. He segued into session work and collaborated with ABBA on its very first single, "People Need Love."

He and bassist Rutger Gunnarsson were a key part of the quartet's rhythm section, playing on all the studio albums and touring with the band in 1977, 1979 and 1980.
Ulvaeus, Andersson, Agnetha Faltskog, Anni-Frid Lyngstad broke up in 1982.

Brunkert and his wife, Inga—who passed away less than a year ago—retired to Arta, on the eastern end of the Mediterranean island, where he occasionally played with a jazz troupe.

ABBA remains as popular as ever. Thanks in part to the hugely successful musical Mamma Mia! (a movie starring Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan is due out in October), the band sells about 3 million albums annually, with total sales to date in excess of 350 million.

A black news reporter in Union, South Carolina was attacked while just doing her job by covering a murder case. Family members of the accused came up and literally started beating the snot out of her. They pulled her hair back and called her several racial slurs.

From the Associated Press:

Three people upset that a news crew was reporting on the arrest of a relative attacked the television reporter and yelled racial slurs at her and a photographer, authorities said Tuesday.

The family members, all white, began yelling and charged at black WSPA-TV reporter Charmayne Brown while she was standing in the street near the family's home in Union, said news director Alex Bongiorno.


Really disturbing video ahead. More at The Huffington Post.

A man in Ness County, Kansas called into the county Sheriff's Office to report that his girlfriend had been sitting on his toilet for two years.

They actually had to pry the damned toilet seat off her ass.

According to yesterday's story on the case, County Sheriff Bryan Whipple (OH! OH! Stop it with the irony!) said he's looking into charging the boyfriend with mistreating a dependent adult.

In late February, the woman's boyfriend called the sheriff's office and alerted them that something was wrong with his girlfriend.

When police arrived, they found the woman sitting on the toilet - a position from which they believe she had not moved for approximately two years. Her boyfriend had sustained her by bringing food and water.

Whipple said the woman's muscles had atrophied and that medical personnel had to remove her from the toilet because she was bound to it by "natural means."

Currently, the woman is being treated at a Wichita hospital.

Wow. Two years, eh? Was Uncle John's Bathroom Reader that good?

Dude! Dude! Get this!

The Southern Baptists have admitted that maybe there's something to this whole global warming thing!!!

Forty-six influential members of the Southern Baptist Convention, including three of its past four presidents, criticized their denomination in a statement Monday for being "too timid" in confronting global warming.

"Our cautious response to these issues in the face of mounting evidence may be seen by the world as uncaring, reckless and ill-informed," the statement says. "We can do better."

What? Do I see pigs flying? Dogs and cats hand in hand? John Mayer not being a douchebag?

What does this mean for the future of humanity?

Either way, Bravo to the Southern Baptists, who are changing their manta from "Rape the earth; it's yours" to "It's our responsibility, too."

Holy unnecessary packaging, batman!

This kid is brave and he deserves about a gazillion kudos.

A high school freshman from Neely, Mississippi wrote to the Hattiesburg American about some frustrations he's had with his school assemblies that have not only taken a religious tone, but also lean toward promotion of Christianity. As he should, he sees this as a violation of separation of Church and State.

Here's the letter:

I am a freshman at Greene County High School, and I am writing to express my concerns on several assemblies that we have had this year.

It is understood that we live in a region of the country called the "Bible Belt," and in this region Christianity does play a significant role in the lives and the views of many people. I not only understand this, but I also respect it.

This school year we have had three assemblies where the speaker was a religious figure. The first person was a local preacher. During this assembly he preached to us on the importance of making the right choices and accepting Jesus as our savior.

The next person was a biker-turned-preacher from the Gulf Coast. His program was focused on making the right choices. He didn't preach to us, but he did mention that turning to Christianity helped him turn his life around.

The other speaker was a preacher from Louisiana. He preached on the importance of living in a Christ-like manner.

These assemblies were all concluded in prayer. We were never given the option to not attend.

I respect all of these people and their commitment to the Christian religion just as much as I respect the Constitution and rights given to us by this document. This time, however, the two are at odds with each other.

The Establishment Clause of the Constitution has been interpreted in many court cases as a wall of separation between church and state.

Moreover, it states clearly in the Elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965 that no school official shall mandate or organize religious ceremonies.

I have no problem with the assemblies themselves, but public schools are not the place to preach a religion. The Constitution is the reason that this country hasn't crumbled into a chaotic state.

Now is not the time to overlook this important document. These assemblies, no matter how good of a message they bear, are still technically illegal.

Wesley Crawford

Neely

Check out the comments that have been left for this letter - including those from people who refuse to believe that a letter such as this could have been penned by a high school freshman.

This kid is VERY brave for what he did. That is a very difficult subject to tackle, particularly in southern Mississippi, and he was very much in the right to point out the err of the school's ways.

It is upsetting that any taxpayer-funded school would organize an assembly, required or not, that would steer children toward any religious faith. It is not the public school's place to tell people to be more "Christ-like."

To Wesley: Keep fighting. You did the right thing.

I need to run out and get this album. MTV has decided to ban this video for Gnarls Barkley's new single "Run" - not because it has sex, violence or religious imagery - but because there's the chance it might cause seizures!!!

Now, I think it's a really great vid. Very fresh, funky, well put-together - but about 2:12 into the video the seizure-inducng moments start happening. You have been warned.

I just watched this video and my head hurts. Maybe they do need to fix it. Owie.

Dude. The most awesome thing ever.

Of course, I am talking about bacon cups.

These amazing little oink-baskets are made by lining the bottom of a muffin pan with foil, weaving bacon baskets around the cups and baking 'em.

Now, the folks at not martha are saying crap like "What a great way to make carb-free salads!" and other bullshit. Bollocks, I say.

Make up some pimiento cheese or chicken salad or pub cheese or some other bulky filling, surround the cup with crackers or melba toast or some other carb-tastic product and GO TO TOWN.

Low-carb. Ha! Remember Dr. Atkins weighed like a gazillion pounds and died with heart problems. Take your low-carb and shove it.

Of course, I'm speaking theoretically and I probably would not waste my time making such a creation. Once I made Pig Candy from The Sweet Potato Queens' Big-Ass Cookbook and Financial Planner and it just ended up in one greasy mess.

The kind of greasy mess I like isn't created in the kitchen, if'n you know what I mean. Chja-bow-bow. (Just kidding, that was gross. Really.)