My friends, I bring you... Onion Goggles.

Don't you just HATE it when you're cutting up onions and the fumes and the tears just burn your eyes? Yes! Yes, it's like an exorcism! Well, for $19.95, you will cry no more for onions. Simply put these babies on and they seal all the nastiness out so you can cut onions and not ruin your mascara at the same time.

Oh for Chrissakes. This is - hands-down - the dumbest kitchen gadget I have ever seen. Even more ridiculous than the Panini Maker (surprise! you can make a panini if you can make a grilled cheese sandwich!!!!) or the Moo Mixer Supreme (seriously, I did not think making chocolate milk was rocket science.)

Anyway, I have a solution for the crying-from-onion-fumes problem. It's called "COLD WATER." Seriously. Run the onion under some cold water. I've been doing that trick for 20 years and never shed a tear over cuttin' onions.