The first time I heard about Christmas in July was when I was a little kid, and Nickelodeon had a Christmas in July weekend during which they showed You Can't Do That On Television, Dennis The Menace, Lassie and other television Christmas specials.

Not that it has anything to do with this post, but the point is it's nice to celebrate Christmas (or whatever Winter holiday you celebrate) in the middle of the year because it makes you feel warm and fuzzy, but also it gives retailers a chance to clear their stashes of stuff.

So this month as part of the AREtsy Street Team's Christmas in July sale, I'm offering free shipping on all my items at my etsy store.

For most of my items, shipping runs about 2 bucks. So for an $8 pair of earrings as you see pictured here, what you'd normally pay 10 bucks for with shipping and all that turns out to be 8 bucks. So you save two dollars! That's, like, almost a gallon of gas! It's two and a quarter cans of soda! It's, uh, enough to pay the paperboy from Better Off Dead so he'll leave you alone!



Anyway, thought I'd let you chilrens know.

In case you missed it the first time: El's Bells, my etsy store

You know how you get to the point in which you only see some of your loved ones at funerals? Years have passed, and suddenly everyone is sharing stories and laughing and reminiscing and saying "oh, yeah! I forgot about that!"

When I heard this song on the radio yesterday, that's how I felt.



No matter what he did in his life, just about everyone in the world in my generation, my brothers' generation and my parents' generation remembers a time when Michael Jackson wowed the world with his unsurpassed talents. People who wouldn't get along otherwise - people from different countries, backgrounds, political ideologies could find common ground in his music and dancing. I can't think of any artist who did that more than Michael Jackson.

More than likely, he did things that were absolutely despicable. That part of his life should not be forgotten and should not go unrecognized. But neither should his contributions to music and cross-cultural understanding. When his life came to an end, he was a lost person to whom no one could reach out. It's a sad, disturbing and gripping tale all at once. Leaves a lot of people torn in the end, especially those of us who remember him from way back when.

I've been in a funk as of late. But it's not even the good funk.

The good funk gets you up on the good foot and out on the dance floor. It gets you movin', groovin', doing things, seeing and being seen.

I've been in that kind of funk that leaves you sleeping on the futon in front of the news and forgetting to do simple tasks.

Now, this week a friend saw my need to get out of said funk and took me out to dinner, offering tidbits of inspiration for my jewelry-making business.

That, along with my first sale in a long dang time, got me out of said funk for a few moments. But the funk is still trying to get a hold of me. I feel its grip. It pulls me toward it, saying, "stop being productive! It's time for you to be lazy and neglect things!"

Grah. I hate that crap. I think it must come with the whole deciding-what-to-do-with=-the-rest-of-my-life thing.

I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life. I do know I like the things I'm getting paid to do. Jewelry is awesome. Dogsitting is awesome. Nannying is awesome. Writing is, of course, awesome. And I'm getting my name out - which is good.

But alas. Funk is still in existence.

But there have been some good things:

1) Got to see my oldest brother last week, which is excellent since he lives across the state.

2) Created a bunch of stuff.

3) Got more decluttering done at the apartment (at which the A/C has now completely gone out, but that's a whole 'nother story)

4) Gave out and received lots of hugs.

5) Made new friends. (Then again, when am I not making new friends?)

Anyhoo, anyone else out there in a funk? Anyone been in a funk and been able to crawl out? I know I have before. I'll get out of this funk. I think writing here more should help.

And now I will post a photo of the Granpappy of Funk:



And a photo of Dr. Funkenstein himself:



Aaaand, why not have a trifecta with the guy who never shows up for his scheduled performances:

It's time for a new segment here at Bellesouth: Tales from the Karaoke Bar. Because karaoke is a fairly cheap activity in which I participate three times a week, it makes plenty of room for blog fodder. I will share with you one such story.

June 7, 2009: A boy with shaggy hair approached our table at the bar. "May I sit here?" he asked us. "Sure, there's a chair over there," my friend said and pointed to the chair next to me.

Then this boy - I'd say he was about 25 or so - started in on his lines on me.

"I really enjoy your karaoke," he said. "It inspires me."

"What does it inspire you to do?" I asked.

"To open up, and to be open," he said. (Or it was something like that. It involved being "open." The KJ later told me that the only thing I was inspiring him to do was open his pants. She's very insightful like that.)

For reference, this is the song I sang that night that apparently "inspired" him:

I said, "You are drunk and full of shit, but that's okay, go on," because I wanted to see how moronic this dude could be.

So anyway, he reveals to me that his name is Daniel, and he tells me extremely interesting facts about himself. Such as, "I come from my mother," and "I am a simple man who is into simple things."

We carry on with really simple small-talk, the boyfriend question comes up, he says that he's going through a hard time, and he's slurring more and more as he continues talking with me. Then I get a Very Important Text from my friend sitting next to me.

"Hey, how's it going? You might want to take this call outside."

I then told him I needed to take a call outside as I point to my phone (the screen on which is totally black by now), and I half-assedly promise that I will talk to him when I get back.

I go outside, where my friends follow me and I thank them for the save.

When we head back inside, we sit next to some off-duty employees who are experts in keeping dudes The Hell Off Of Us.

Incidentally, Daniel ended up breaking two glasses, freaking out the KJ by trying to pick up pieces of glass with his scary drunk hands, and getting kicked out of the bar. I had a sober male friend walk me to my car in case he was still lingering out there when I left.

Maybe tonight I'll try to inspire people with some Kajagoogoo or something.

I've been thinking about the recent events going on in the world:

- The discovery that our previous administration sanctioned torture, and that we are having difficulty bringing terrorists to proper justice according to American law.

- The bankruptcy of one of America's biggest auto companies after decades of downsizing, building inferior cars and destroying public transportation as it was previously known.

- The horrible, violent, tragic killing of a doctor who performed abortions, and the hostile environments that possibly led to his killing.

And I think about the old Pogo comic from Earth Day 1971:

I know you've missed me and the update on my life, but lemme tell you how incredibly busy life has been lately.

From Monday through Thursday, I was Nanny Bellesouth, in charge of getting a six-year-old on the bus every morning, and making sure a four-year-old spent all day not setting the house on fire.

The four-year-old has been experiencing, well, moments that normal four-year-olds have. If everything he said this week was true, his parents let him get away with a LOT of stuff. "Daddy lets me play with the hose!" "Mommy says I don't have to clean up!" Oh yes, and that's just a smidgen of it.

But then there were the moments when he was cute and would come up and cuddle on me just for the sake of cuddling. And every day we went on a bike ride. This photo is from the one day I managed to get him to wear his helmet.



Also, this week I got my first Etsy order from someone who was a COMPLETE STRANGER. I felt validated as an Etsy seller. It wasn't like my friends were just all, "Yeah, yeah, that stuff looks great...here's a couple of bucks."

Anyway, it was an order of my soon-to-be world-famous Flight of the Conchords earrings.



Right now I have to make four additional pairs of these because I got an order today from another stranger who wants to buy a pair for herself and for three of her FOTC-fan friends. Whew!

Tonight I started a dog-sitting gig for my dear friends Danielle and Sean for their beloved German Shepherd, Roxie.



Roxie is sad because her parents are gone. :(

Danielle and Sean get back Monday - the same day I start watching Emily the Schnauzer. You might remember her from a couple of months ago.



I've also become completely obsessed with the Farm Town application on Facebook. It is such a sickness.

This is not my farm, but just to give you an idea:



So right now I'm kinda tired - but there's no time to rest. I have earrings to make, dogs to play with in the morning and fields to harvest. An unemployed gal's work is never done.

If I won $10,000 - well, I'd probably do some traveling and then I'd take the rest and use it to put a dent in my student loans. What would you do with all that cash? Pay off the bills for the rest of the year? Get a new gadget? Help pay off the national deficit? Donate it to your favorite charity? Spend it on pennywhistles and moon pies?

Anyway, Charter is giving away $10,000 at its Win 10 Grand Contest Page. Why not enter? Heck, I did.

During the month of May, you can head to the page, answer questions about Charter On Demand and you could win $10,000.
3. A 52” Sony Bravia HDTV will be given away every week during this promotion.

Also, to keep up with more contests and offers like this, you can follow Charter’s Twitter Feed.